It could happen to anyone, you were bound to lose sometime, better now than at the championships.The thing is, I knew I blew it. And I knew why.The human mind is a miraculous thing. It can conceive things never imagined before and make them real. It can rationalize frailty so that the biggest screwup in the world can convince himself he's something special. And it can take a little data and twist it around and reach a conclusion. Not necessarily a good conclusion, a correct conclusion, but an accepted conclusion, nonetheless.What "facts" did my mind have to work with? First, Jill thought she was on some kind of probation until such time that I decided we knew each other well enough and I liked her enough to stick with her. Second, she was worried she had some competition from a girl I'd known for years, who lived near me, was in most of the same classes I was and I realized I wanted to know better. Third, Jill had not answered her phone or returned messages, last night and this. I'd never be able to initiate anything myself. I'm far too timid to do anything." Suppose she were to kiss you, I mean open her mouth and give you a juicy tongue kiss. What would you do?" It'd be all over. I wouldn't be able to control myself." Really?" Yes," I nodded, wondering where she was going with this."Wow, you must really like her a lot." Something like that. But I'm sure she has no idea what I think about her. So it's not very likely to happen. It'll just be my little secret and she'll never know." Do guys fantasize?", Peggy asked after a moment's pause."Of course they do. Just as I'm sure women do, too." What do guys fantasize about? Sex? Romance? What do you fantasize about when you think about this woman who you won't tell me about?"I almost said, "I fantasize about you, Peggy. I think about your naked body under mine, and my penis buried in your vagina, and me pumping all my come into you, every day and night until forever."But I didn't say that."Yes, I think about.
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